Author Topic: Welfare  (Read 1965 times)

ladycard2907

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Welfare
« on: August 30, 2008, 04:06:22 PM »
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, ' Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'
The social worker behind the counter said, ' Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2008 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive. A two-bedroom loft type apart ment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc. located above the garage, will be designated for your sole use and the salary is $200,000 a year.'
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, 'You're bullshittin' me!
The social worker said, ' Yeah, well . . You started it.'


chipraker420

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Re: Welfare
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2008, 08:45:59 AM »
LOL  Funny

pokerchild69

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Re: Welfare
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2008, 10:32:45 AM »
Never heard that one.. LOL. I wrote down the short version .. Thanks

Baybee_Dollz

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Re: Welfare
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2008, 11:12:53 AM »
LMAO  Now that was funny!!!!

Hobag

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Re: Welfare
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2008, 01:49:49 PM »
Yes that was a good one LOL

ladycard2907

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Re: Welfare
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2008, 05:14:41 PM »
Hi guys! I am glad that you liked the joke, I just thought  it was too funny so have decided to share it with you all! ;)

jimmyrestant

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Re: Welfare
« Reply #6 on: September 07, 2008, 08:29:32 PM »
the same thing prob bin laden said to bush afterthe attacks:you started it lmao!

cow344

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Re: Welfare
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2008, 08:50:38 PM »
Nice but I heard it before ladycard2907,  try this one:

A drop dead brunette walks into a bar dressed to kill looks around she over dressed compared to the people in the bar except for this one guy sitting at the bar wear hat glasses and suit.  She walks up to him and sits down on the bar stool beside him and starts to talk to him.   He snubs her by turning away from her and keeps on drinking.  But she is determined.  After a short while he starts to react to her.

She asks " what are you drinking."

He replies " magic beer!"

This startles her but he is the best guy in the bar.  She lets it pass.

After a few wine or more she asks (she is feeling the wine ) "what does the magic beer do!"

He replies " it makes me fly!"

They drink a few more rounds.  She starts prying about the flying part.  So the guy leads up the roof and steps off the roof and flies around the building.

Needless she is very impressed and beliefs him now, and asks "do think I will be able to fly if I drink the magic beer?"

"Maybe" is the response from him.

Well she thinks why not and goes back to the bar and starts to drink in silence as fast as him.

Now he looks at her after 1 1/2 or more dozen of beer and ask her " what are you feeling like?"

Her reply was " a little dizzy."

He knew she was lying since she looked a little green.

He says "well I guess you are ready then, want to go to the roof and find?"

"OK" is her reply.

Up to the roof and he steps off and flies around and lands beside her.  She thinks o boy and jumps off the roof and falls like a rock.

Next thing there is a helicopter at roof top height and Batman says from the Bat helicopter " look Green Lantern and the rest of us got enough crime to fight we do not have time to babysit sit and safe these women.  It's not their fault Loise Lane dumped you, so stop being such a SUPER jerk Superman!" :o
« Last Edit: September 17, 2008, 11:25:59 PM by cow344 »

onemoretimepls

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Re: Welfare
« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2008, 08:18:26 PM »
Lmao that was too funny,  ;D ;Dalso I liked yours cow344.. ;D

puzzykat

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Re: Welfare
« Reply #9 on: September 17, 2008, 07:23:54 PM »
good ones-you guys ;D
it is better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.