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Mind Over Emotion
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Monday, October 1, 2007
By Real Poker Training
Real Poker Training
Many times in poker we do the best we can, play perfectly, and still lose. It is the nature of the game that there will be times when nothing we can do will make us win. These times it is easy to lose your cool and let yourself get out of control, or go on tilt. How you deal with these bad times is one thing that separates the winners from the losers.
There is no denying that poker is an emotional game. We all see the players on television weekly demonstrating this emotion. From the screams and fist pumps of the winners to the slumps and tears of the losers it seems the days of the stoic gambler are long gone. Yet there was certainly something to be said for that old time stoicism. To help achieve a certain level of stoicism, or at least some detachment from our emotions, let's look at everything that happens when you lose.
First of all there is the matter of lost money. Nobody likes to lose money. But here's a secret that many winning players share – it's easier to win money when you don't care if you lose it. Most top poker players have what I like to call a healthy disregard for money. It's much harder to risk something you really care about, and poker is all about risk. So, if you can find it in you to care less about the money, it is easier for you to risk it. As an experiment, try playing in a poker game with stakes so low that even if you lose ten times your buy in it wouldn't mean anything to you. You should find that you are able to play with a level of abandon that you normally would find scary. But this frame of mind is just what is needed to be able to play effective poker. If you let the money control your emotions you will tilt much too easily.
Next there is the matter of ego. Who would you rather be, the hero who hits the game winning homerun, or the loser who drops the last out and lets the other team win? We all want to win. From an early age we are taught that winning is good and losing is bad. This is not something we can just turn on and off, it is ingrained in our psyche. So how can we deal with losing without blowing our cool?
One of the most effective ways of dealing with losing is to simply change our internal definition of what it means to win. Most of us are stuck in a rut of some kind. You can be stuck anywhere but it's really just in your own mind. Many people say, "I'd be happy if only I won this or that." The funny thing is that those who have already won this or that are no happier than they are. A wise man once said that success is getting what you want, but happiness is wanting what you have. Given a choice between the two, I think I will take happiness.
I take the approach that every time I make the right move I have gained something. I know that I cannot affect the short term so I look to the long term. I tell myself that it is a good thing that I just lost to that one outer as those things are truly rare and very unlikely to happen even twice in a row. And each time I take a bad beat I think of it as karma in the bank saved up for the next time. I take joy in my good play and I know that most every time I get my opponent in a similar situation I will win. In this way I walk away happy.
In conclusion I'd just like to say that we are all human. There are times when circumstances get the better of me just like anyone else. There are times when I need to let off a little steam so I don't explode. At these times I have learned that there are good ways to do this and bad ways.
Bad ways include punching or kicking something hard or breakable, throwing anything, getting immediately into another gambling situation for big stakes, etc. I'm sure we can all think of a few more bad things to do when we get upset.
I take comfort in the fact that I have learned to exercise some control at these times. If I need to react in a physical way, I will punch a soft, cushy pillow if one is near (keep one by your computer). If I need to steam a bit in another gambling situation, I will play the smallest limit game that I can find, especially a play money game. If I have to deal with something right away, I will take a few moments to myself first before I have to get back to reality. In these ways I can release my
